The Real Reason
by RuneWitchSakura
Summary: The real reason Itachi massacred the Uchiha clan: “It was the bunnies, Sasuke. It was the bunnies.” Oneshot.


You thought the summary was bad - just wait to you read the story.

Warnings: Don't drink liquids of any kind while reading. Mentions of eyebrows eating people. Psycho authoress. Though I claim in my defense that you will understand the eyebrows thing by the end of the story.

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Chaos. That's what it was. Pure and utter chaos. Not only was Naruto half-way to Otogakure so he could drag Sasuke-teme's sorry ass back to Konoha, but after finding the teme, who should show up but Itachi and Kisame. Needless to say, any shred of common sense that any of the four males had went to hell within seconds. Sasuke tried to kill Itachi, Kisame defended Itachi (not that the elder Uchiha needed it, but still) and knocked Sasuke away, which pissed off Naruto, who then tried to kill Kisame, Itachi defended Kisame (not that the shark-faced nin needed it, but still), and then the cycle started _all_ over again.

Then, Sasuke started yelling something about Itachi's massacring of the clan, to which Naruto replied, 'Yeah! Well, at least you knew your parents!' Itachi and Kisame merely stood in the background as Naruto and Sasuke continued to bicker.

"He killed my family!"

"At least you had a family!"

"And to test his limits!"

"Who gives a shit!"

"I would like to defend myself," Itachi said, "By saying that I didn't kill them to test my limits."

"B-b-but," Sasuke sputtered, "T-that's what you told me!"

"I lied. Get over it." Sasuke's eye twitched.

"Well, if you didn't kill them to test your limits," Sasuke replied, "Then why the hell did you do it?"

"It was the bunnies, Sasuke. It was the bunnies."

"The...bunnies," Sasuke repeated.

'He's lost his mind,' Kisame, Naruto, and Sasuke thought simultaneously, 'A side effect of overuse of the Mangekyo Sharingan, no doubt.'

"Yes, Sasuke. It was the evil bunnies."

FLASHBACK

"Wait a minute," Shisui said, laughing, "You're afraid of…bunnies." Shisui continued laughing, making Itachi's eye twitch even more.

"There's nothing wrong with being afraid of bunnies," Itachi said, glaring at Shisui.

"Bunnies! They're cute, and fluffy, and cuddly, and soft, and how the hell can you be afraid of bunnies, of all things," Shisui was still laughing.

"They're evil."

"They are not evil, Itachi."

"They are. And they've brainwashed you!" Itachi gasped, "Damn! Do not worry, Shisui, I shall free you from their control."

"What the hell are you talking about, Itach-" Shisui died.

"I must make sure that no one else in the family has been brainwashed by the evil bunnies," Itachi said, "But first, so the evil bunnies do not suspect me, I shall throw Shisui's body into the river and write a suicide note. Yes, the evil bunnies will not suspect that I have seen through their diabolical plans." 'On the plus side, I now have the Mangekyo Sharingan.'

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"Have you been brainwashed by the evil bunnies?" Itachi asked Sasuke.

"Um…no," Sasuke replied, looking at Itachi strangely.

"Good," Itachi replied back, before heading towards the Uchiha compound.

'Must be working him too hard as an ANBU,' Sasuke thought.

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"Have you been brainwashed by the evil bunnies?" Itachi asked the guards at the gate.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Evil bunnies? I think you've become a few short of a six pack, Itachi-sama."

"Bunnies aren't evil."

"Yeah, they're cute, and fluffy, and cuddly, and soft too."

"Damn, you have been brainwashed by the evil bunnies," Itachi said, pulling out a kunai and his ANBU issued sword, "Fear not. I shall free you." Itachi killed the two guards, before dragging the bodies inside and continuing on his quest to free people from the evil bunnies' control.

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"Why, Itachi?" Sasuke asked, crying, "Why did you kill them?" Itachi's eye twitched. Several people had asked that as he killed them. And it was getting to tiring to have to explain that he was freeing everyone from the evil bunnies' control, so he went with the first thing to pop into his head.

"I did it to test my limits, brother."

END FLASHBACK

"Damn, and people say I have problems," Naruto said.

"That's why you asked me about the evil bunnies?" Sasuke asked, "I just thought you were going crazy."

"Evil bunnies?" Kisame asked, before he and Sasuke started laughing.

"There is nothing wrong with being afraid of bunnies," Itachi replied coldly.

"Bunnies!" Sasuke shouted out, leaning on Kisame for support as the two of them laughed it up. Itachi turned his attention to Naruto.

"You aren't laughing," he stated.

"The way I figure it," Naruto said, "I can't laugh at you being afraid of bunnies, seeing as I have nightmares about Fuzzy Eyebrows' fuzzy eyebrows coming to eat me."

"Fuzzy Eyebrows!" Kisame choked out, still laughing with Sasuke.

"Eating him!" Sasuke joined in.

"And bunnies!"

"No, no, no! They're _evil _bunnies, remember!" The two of them continued laughing.

"I'll kill Kisame," Naruto said, "You kill Sasuke. We both take them back to our 'homes' and claim death by 'accident', deal?"

"Deal," Itachi said, taking out a kunai; Naruto doing the same.

"Oh shit," Kisame and Sasuke said in unison, as they looked up, having felt a massive amount of killing intent.

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I couldn't help writing this. It was just so fun. Making Itachi scared of bunnies (Itachi: _evil_ bunnies), although the eyebrows eating him nightmare is probably true for Naruto. Well, read and review! Smiles! 

Rune


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